Rise of the Runelords 3.75

In Memoriam: Alonian Tyrinx

Defeat of the Skinsaw Cult

To The Sandpoint Five it seemed like the loss of their beloved companion Tellorn was far too fresh to be committing another companion to the fire, and yet here they stood in the marble hall of the Magnimar temple of Calistria, watching as the priestess called the magical fire that would consume the mortal remains of Alonian Tyrinx. As the chants continued around them, each of the Five had only their own thoughts for company as they waited for the ritual to end.

Karrnath’s mind was deeply troubled as he recalled the events of the previous day. Their plan had been tactically sound, but they had underestimated their foe’s strength and resources and, in the end, it was only Karrnath who remained conscious to deliver the deathblow to the lamia matriarch known as Xanesha. At the time, he had been wracked with indecision, wondering whether to flee a seemingly hopeless situation or to try and fight this powerful foe. Although it was his hand that sent the old clock bell careening downward, knocking Xanesha from the air even as it crushed the life from her, he had to wonder if he had done enough. If things had gone differently, could he have saved Alonian?

Dorn barely noticed the activity in the hall as his mind worked over their encounter with the Skinsaw Cult. Certainly, this group of murderers and assassins had been working the service of several evils, but he could not make out their connection to recent events. He contemplated their interrogation of the cult’s leader, Justice Ironbriar, replaying the conversation mentally as he searched for answers hidden in the evil elf’s words. Was there something else there that they had missed, that could have better prepared them for the fight at the Shadow Clock?

Aable marveled at the sinuous movements of the priests and priestesses as they danced and chanted in Alonian’s honor. Although he normally found it difficult to distinguish between the genders when looking at fully-clothed elves, he noted that in their scant ritual garb, the difference was clear enough for anyone to see. Even their funeral dirge had a sort of erotic quality to it that Aable found disturbingly arousing. This agitation led his thoughts once again to poor Alonian, who had barely stood a chance as that horrible snake-lady had pursued him through the air, stabbing again and again with her wicked spear. Although enveloped in silence at the time, Aable had imagined that he could hear Alonian’s final scream as the spear pierced his heart. Even though he had been the only party member who was unable to fly during their encounter with Xanesha, Aable wondered with a broken heart, was there something else that he could have done to save his lovely friend?

Durgim wondered if Sprinkles was alright penned up in the inn’s exotic animal stable and hoped that all this wussy-dancing and singing was going to be over soon. Would Sprinkles be upset at being penned for so long?

Kedrith stood slightly back from the rest of the group, not wanting to intrude on their mourning. He had never met this Alonian fellow and he was mainly here out of respect for his new adventuring party – they had even made him a provisional member of The Sandpoint Five! He guessed that their fight at The Shadow Clock with this flying snake bitch had been a tough one, since one of them had been killed, but so far his time with the group had been great. After he had been recruited, they went back to the clocktower and killed a gross-looking flesh golem in about 20 seconds – excellent! Kedrith tried hard to keep his excitment in check and project only respectful silence while he composed an appropriate toast to the fallen for after the funeral. There would be drinks after the service, right?


Aable’s Funeral Dirge for poor, impaled (penetrated), Alonian

Too alarming now to talk about

Take your pictures down and shake it out

Truth or consequence, say it aloud

Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero

Watch him as he goes

There goes my hero

He’s so pretty

Don’t the best of them bleed it out on a pointed stick

While the rest of them ‘peter’ out – snicker!

Truth or consequence, say it aloud – dare I?

Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero

Watch him as he floats

There goes my hero

He’s impaled on a pointy stick

Alonian is my hero,

leaving all the rest

You know my hero, the one so…

In Memoriam: Alonian Tyrinx

Sandpoint Five Members!

*Editorial note – all parentheses are points addressed to our DM.

My member-ship in the Sandpoint Five is heavy…with grief! The emasculating death of Alonian, penetrated (so deeply) by that wicked she-bitch-snake-priest, devastated my quickly beating, halfling heart.

However, as the great halfling orator, Freddy Mercuria once said, the show must go on…

Alonian’s memory will live on. May I dream of Alonian and Tellorn traipsing about green pastures, their firm bodies untouched by the stench of death.

However, as CFO and acting CEO -Alonian would have wanted it this way – we do have business to attend to:

1. We need to restore our newly acquired townhouse. A thousand gp will go towards renovation, house stores – food, equipment, and interior design. The main room will grace newly commissioned paintings of our departed friends. We shall hire suitable full time (halfling butler) and part time housekeeping (halfling maid).

2. We will rent, on a long time basis, a small warehouse near our townhouse. This facility will house our horses, ponies, wagons, and other asundry adventuring equipment and misc. artifacts. I suggest that Durgrim’s cat may reside here while we stay in Magnimar. We will hire a full table stable manager/accountant who will also reside within the facility (one of my halfling cousins will do just fine). I suggest 500 gp to secure a long term facility with live-in stable help and equipment.

3. We shall start the bureaucratic process to place into our name, our newly acquired land, just south of Sandpoint. I suggest we ride (all, or some of us) to Sandpoint, acquire the services of the good Desna priest, and have that evil land consecrated. Who knows, we may even find a cleric to hire – we need one. After the land is in our name, I will dispatch some property appraisers to evaluate the land more properly. (I know a great property appraiser – my second uncle, Tassy).

(On a personal note, I shall take a sliver of wood from Alonian’s holy symbol and have a master weapon smith re-hilt my magical rapier. I shall then have a priest of Calistra and Desna bless the weapon (I will spend up to a thousand gp for this endeavor). Upon completion of the ceremony, my small rapier will now be known as ‘Alonia’.)

In Memoriam: Alonian Tyrinx

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